7 Things I Learned Through The Height Of COVID

Below are seven things that I learned, or was reminded of, during the COVID epidemic, in random order.

1. It doesn’t have to be all people, or even the majority of people, but if you can convince ENOUGH people that a normal, everyday item MIGHT become scarce, you can make a shitload of money.

2. People are unbelievably, shockingly, dare I say, embarrassingly swayed by news and social media. These outlets do NOT exist to provide truth. Views, likes, attention and revenue are the major driving forces of their existence. I’d sooner seek truth from a schizophrenic car salesman than from some of those sons-of-bitches.

3. Just because the internet domain is .gov or .int does not guarantee factual accuracy. Political agendas infiltrate even the most esteemed organizations.

4. Paranoia is contagious. So is panic. Calm the fuck down.

5. The difference between a masked face and a naked face is damn near stupefying; so much so that if you ask her out while she’s wearing a mask, and she plans to meet you without one, congratulations. You’re going on a blind date.

6. If she is irritatingly outspoken against the COVID vaccine, but she also does questionable recreational drugs, or gets Melanotan or BOTOX or yearly flu shots, she may be delusional. Consider emotional instability. Proceed with caution.

7. In emergency medicine, a pandemic is an unexpectedly effective repellent for non-urgent medical complaints. Apparently frequent flyers fear death by communicable disease more than they fear toothaches and tinder cooties.


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